Dreams of the Future

Ever since I can remember I always looked forward. From the time I was five years old I knew I wanted to get married one day, I wanted to have babies and I wanted to be a stay at home mom. As I grew older and got into high school those dreams didn't change, I always saw myself as a mom. I did however start having other dreams, I saw myself in front of large crowds of people, I saw myself going all over the world. I saw myself writing books and changing the world. I loved thinking about the future I saw so much promise.

Some dreams came true. I got married, we had a baby, and now we have another one on the way. I will even get to travel the world with the love of my life. I noticed something today, I never think about the future anymore, I live day to day just trying to get through. When I look into the future I see nothing, I don't even know where I will be in 2 years from now. I don't know how many children I will have. I get scared thinking about my kids growing up, I worry I won't know what to do. That is why I don't think about it, I live every day happy that I'm in it. I am thankful for every laugh Michael gives me, I'm thankful for every special smile my husband smiles. I cherish every "I love you" spoken from the man of my dreams. I love my life.

My life has changed, I no longer dream about the future, because the future seems to much for me to handle, deployments, growing children and cross country moves. I don't dream much anymore, and I was worried for awhile, until I realized, I am living my dream. My little boy and my husband and this new baby inside me; This is my dream. This is my life. This is what I live for. This is what makes me happy! Life isn't a fairy tale, things can get hard, but as long as I have my family and God's love I am living the life I always dreamed about!